I have come to realise that when you embody the feeling of safety within yourself, you can be anywhere in the world, with anyone, and feel truly at home.

Where is home?

I have been pondering this question for some time now.

If I were to invite you to pause for a moment, close your eyes and explore this question, how would you respond?

Is Home your childhood house where you grew up?

Is Home your current house where you live?

Is Home the experience of being with certain people – your parents, your friends, your love?

Is Home a location in the world that is most familiar and safe to you?

Home from home

I cannot say that I had a well-travelled upbringing, except of course if you include all the parts of Scotland that I danced and competed in! As a young highland dancer growing up in a small town on the east coast of Scotland, I devoted a lot of time to practising dance with my weekends devoted to competing.

Holidays in my family were spent in Scotland, combining my hobby of dancing with the family holiday. In fact, most of our family holidays when I was a kid were spent in our family caravan which we transported across Scotland. You could say it was home from home!

Home for me was the house that my parents stayed in for 40 years.

Home was with my parents, my brothers, and our pet dog.

Home was my safe sanctuary, the place I felt comfortable being in, where I did not need to be anyone else except myself.

Home was the familiar smells and vibrations inside the home that connected me to a part of myself that felt truly safe.

Home was a safe place I could return to whenever I needed help and support.

Many homes

Despite being late in my life to travel abroad, (indeed, I was 21 when I got my first passport to travel!), I have certainly made up for that later in life! I am no stranger to relocating. In fact, roughly every 5 years I follow my path on my journey through this life by beginning a new adventure, relocating to a new country, experiencing different cultures and sometimes even changing continents!

This is not always a straightforward and exciting adventure, especially in the beginning. It takes time to settle, to find a pace and rhythm in the new setting, to integrate into the community, and ultimately to feel safe in the new surroundings. Then it can begin to feel like home.

There are many outward aspects of living that make us feel safe and at home, as our autonomic nervous system will concur. This integral part of our human experience is always switched on, always looking outwardly for cues of safety or danger – cues of safety to engage and communicate with others, or cues of danger to disengage and protect.

The autonomic nervous system also reads cues from within your body. Thoughts can provoke a fluctuation of nervous system states, giving rise to certain emotions, changes to the biochemistry creating stress hormones, changes to your mood, and changes to your breathing pattern.

When we do not truly feel at home inside ourselves, we find it challenging to feel centred, grounded and at home anywhere.

One develops many behavioural patterns to cope with the lack of feeling safe or at home inside yourself, including comparing yourself to others, the need for constant validation, self-judgement, and self-criticism, or projecting your insecurity onto others.

That longing to feel securely at home inside yourself can develop addictive behavioural patterns to cope with the lack of feeling at home, which shows up as overworking, obsessive shopping or unconsciously scrolling through social media to taking drugs or drinking more alcohol than recommended. All to numb the discomfort and suffering of not feeling safe inside.

Safety starts from within

There are innate tools right there in your human body that can help to instil a sense of safety within you. Tools that help you to trust your intuitions, so you make good decisions, feel more connected to your body, and read the sensations as cues of needing nourishment, exercise, and rest. Tools in your human body that can improve your sleep, your digestion, and your relationships because you do not look outside of yourself for validation to make you feel at home inside yourself.

One of those tools is right there under your nose. Your breath!

Throughout all my travels in life, I have come to realise that our body is our home. When you learn to feel safe inside your body, it becomes a sacred haven that holds all your precious belongings – including body, mind, and soul. For a home to be stable, secure and function properly, a home needs to be nourished, maintained, restored, and released of items that no longer serve a purpose.

Your breath can bring you Home

I have been on a healing journey for several years, discovering, learning, and teaching natural healing modalities like TRE® and Breathwork, helping maintain, restore, and release the body from everyday stress and tension or deeply rooted trauma carried throughout life.

Breathwork has helped me enormously to increase body awareness, focus on the present moment, calm a racing mind, release emotional blockages and physical tensions, and increase mental clarity.

By learning to relax the muscles in the body through a meditative shaking mechanism of TRE®, thus discharging the pent-up energy stored in the muscles from everyday stress, deeply stored trauma from the past, and even healing physical injuries, the therapeutic tremors of TRE® have helped me connect to my body´s natural impulses to heal, let go of behavioural patterns that no longer serve a purpose in my life, helping me deeply trust that my body knows how to heal.

Through these natural modalities to regulate the nervous system, I have never felt more connected to myself, able to trust the sensations within me, and felt a deeply grounded sense of safety, wisdom, and support inside me, which has instilled a grounded sense of safety that has been long since prominent and is what I have come to call Home.

Home resides inside me. It is warm, familiar, safe, and filled with love, laughter, and memories. I believe Home resides in all of us.

When one feels a true connection to oneself, to the surroundings and to the greater world, one feels at Home.

Learn to find safety in your breath and it will bring you home, always.